


i run towards you without a moment to breathe

by inmylife



Series: i'll find you [2]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: (sorry sorry sorry sorry), ...sorry to the minhwan fans who are expecting high romance this is Not That, M/M, Not really though, also sorry for the kesha joke, and is a very bossy person, hyunbin has no mercy, i'm very shit at writing romance so this is mostly dialogue and exposition, it's like where they go into the shark aa meeting, jaehwan is a terrible person, kira roasted me for this, sorry for the shrek joke we did the musical in middle school, this does sort of fit into the finding nemo canon like, this is how they start dating yay! like how their relationship progresses and shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 15:44:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13883982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmylife/pseuds/inmylife
Summary: in which minhyun opens up.





	i run towards you without a moment to breathe

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Open Up. yes, the summary was on purpose.

Jaehwan wonders about Hwang Minhyun for a solid two weeks before he does anything. 

I mean, come on. This cute, anxious stranger, who out of some misplaced compassion offered to let Jaehwan live with him? Someone he barely knows? Merits some thought. 

His kid was cute, though. And Minhyun was pretty. (Why else would Jaehwan have taken him up on his offer of a ride home?)

He mentions this guy to Hyunbin the next time they're hanging out - just, you know, hey I met this weird guy the other day he seemed to know you - and Hyunbin is immediately interested. 

Read as, he sits straight up from where he'd previously been sprawled across Jaehwan's bed and stares at Jaehwan like he's a ghost. 

"Hwang Minhyun." Hyunbin says. "Type A, oversharer, worrier, has a kid who's hurt and a husband who's died…" Jaehwan blinks at him. "Mother fucker." 

"I… yes? What?" Jaehwan is a little wary of Hyunbin's reaction already. "Yeah, he seemed kind of a weird dude. I mentioned my rent issues and he offered me to live with him." 

"Why didn't you take him up on it?" Hyunbin asks incredulously. 

"Because I don't really know him? And I have friends, thank you very much? That I can live with if I get kicked out of my apartment?" 

"Yeah," Hyunbin reasons, "but then you could check up on him for us." 

"I'll kick you out of my apartment," Jaehwan mutters. "Wait. Us? Who's us?"

"Me. Seongwoo hyung. Daniel hyung. I don't know, pretty sure Youngmin hyung and Donghyun knew him too? He cut most people off after Jonghyun hyung died, and Dongho hyung and Minki hyung are being enablers and won't tell us anything when we pester them." 

"I'm not being your spy," Jaehwan rolls his eyes. 

"You don't have to spy on him, hyung," Hyunbin reasons. "Just, like… he seemed okay? We're all still lowkey worried - I know it's been five years, but you know."

"Well, he was having a mental breakdown about sending his kid to school. Interpret that how you wish," says Jaehwan, and then he promptly changes topic to Hyunbin's job and how much he hates it and the conversation is over. (Thank god.)

But Jaehwan continues to wonder, and when he finally runs into Daniel at the grocery store one day (because yes, they're functioning adults who go to the grocery store, Jaehwan swears - he's proud of this) and mentions, hey I had this weird conversation with Hyunbin the other day here's what happened, and Daniel has a Hyunbin-style reaction, Jaehwan finally decides that he needs to do something, if only because his friends might not stop pestering him until he does. 

So he texts the guy. 

Me: hey hyung~ wanna hang out sometime soon?

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Would Friday around noon work? What do you want to do?

He texts like an old man. Usually, this would irritate Jaehwan beyond belief, but… on Hwang Minhyun, it sort of works. 

They go and have lunch again. Jaehwan is careful not to suggest a Thai place, because Minhyun had seemed to get very emotional when they went last time. It's American food this time. 

Jaehwan, as usual, is running late. When he gets there, Minhyun is sitting on a bench, phone in hand, looking around nervously as though he's come to the wrong place. 

"How long have you been waiting?" Jaehwan asks, and he's sort of kidding, but. 

"Oh, not long… just, maybe, twenty minutes?" Minhyun answers. 

"You came ten minutes early." Jaehwan clarifies, staring at him. "Jesus." 

"Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable," Minhyun shrugs, oblivious to Jaehwan's disbelief - or just ignoring it. That's also an option.

"Doesn't that mean everything is unacceptable then?" Jaehwan murmurs to himself. If early = on time = late = unacceptable…? He's lost. 

"It's a musician thing," Minhyun explains. "I did orchestra for… a long time." He gets this weird look on his face, and Jaehwan figures he should change the subject. They head inside. 

"How's the kid?" asks Jaehwan. 

Minhyun - and Jaehwan knows this is cliche, but it's the best way to describe it - brightens. Pretty much immediately. "Oh, Jinyoungie's great! He loves school, he's so excited every morning. I don't have the heart to tell him that he's going to hate it when he gets older." 

"You don't have to tell him anything, he can find that out by himself," Jaehwan tells him, latching on to the topic. "No one ever told me it was gonna suck. And he has a while before school starts sucking anyway, he's only in kindergarten."

"Point." 

"Does that mean you're surviving sending him to school in the morning?" Jaehwan asks. 

"Surviving," Minhyun shrugs. "More like letting my coworkers get on my nerves until he's not the only thing on my mind." 

"That's one way to do it," acknowledges Jaehwan, and then they're off. 

They don't talk about anything serious - Jaehwan doesn't expect to - it's mostly bad jokes on Jaehwan's part, Q&A about Minhyun's job, Minhyun waxing poetic about Jinyoung. 

Jaehwan gets baby pictures of the kid. He's a damn cute kid. 

And they eat their food, of course. It's probably better than American food really is, yet worse at the same time, in the same way that Korean food in other countries is simultaneously really good and really inaccurate. Jaehwan doesn't want to leave. 

But he has to go home, and Minhyun has to pick up Jinyoung, so Jaehwan goes back to the train station. 

Me: kiddo i went on a date w your mystery today

Hyunbin: don't call me kiddo  
Hyunbin: also wait you went on a date with who

Me: with your mystery boy weren't you reading

Hyunbin: i'm sure whoever your date was he has a name  
Hyunbin: "mystery boy" isn't gonna cut it hyung

Me: prepare to be amazed  
Me: hwang minhyun hyung

Hyunbin: you what

Me: ok well it wasn't really a date i guess  
Me: we like got lunch

Hyunbin: HYUNG 

Jaehwan decides he has to hang out with Minhyun again. Because Hyunbin (and, by extension, Seongwoo, Daniel, Youngmin, Taehyun, Sanggyun… how does Jaehwan know half of this guy's college friend group, seriously) won't let up until Minhyun's part of their lives again. 

And because, although Jaehwan would never admit this to them, he does really enjoy it. 

It takes a month, but eventually Jaehwan convinces Minhyun to come with him to movie night at Daniel's. Except he doesn't say it's at Daniel's, because that would ruin the surprise for everyone. From what Jaehwan can gather, while Minhyun is reluctant to leave Jinyoung to go out, he has three close friends who he trusts to babysit, so Minhyun picks Jaehwan up from his shitty apartment and Jaehwan gives him directions from there. Well, really, Apple Maps does - the thing about not driving is that Jaehwan doesn't have to know street names, so his directions usually sound something like, turn left on the street that has the pizza place, no, there - fuck, it's supposed to be near the train station and you just turned down the wrong street. There's a scary moment when Minhyun seems to recognize Seongwoo's car (and, given, Seongwoo has a very distinctive and very shitty car), but he shrugs it off, probably assuming that Seongwoo's car couldn't have lasted the five years since back then. 

It's not until they reach the door to Daniel's apartment and Daniel's voice comes loudly through the door that Minhyun seems to freeze. His eyes go wide and his stomach slowly sucks in like he's forgetting to breathe. 

Jaehwan places a hand on his arm. "You okay?" 

Something about this restarts Minhyun. He takes a breath, shakes his head. "I'm good," he lies. 

Jaehwan is a terrible person. 

Jaehwan is inordinately thankful that it's Longguo who opens the door, Longguo who doesn't know Minhyun and just says, "'Sup." Everyone else is already sat on Longguo, Daniel, and occasionally Taehyun's couch and/or on their floor, being loud. Jaehwan is pretty sure that the movie playing is Jaws. A cat - Rcy, Tolbi, Rooney, or Peter, Jaehwan hasn't been here enough to tell any of the four cats apart - weaves between Minhyun's ankles, and the older man smiles. He scans the heads watching the TV as though he's looking for something, but doesn't seem to find it, and so relaxes. 

"Hey guys, Jaehwan and his guy are here!" calls Longguo. 

"Hey, Jae - oh my god," says Hyunbin, stopping short when he sees Minhyun. Scanning the room, Seongwoo and Daniel are similarly wide-eyed, while Taehyun and Sanggyun seem confused, and Longguo, Donghan, and Kenta are even more lost because they don't know Minhyun. 

Jaehwan looks cautiously toward Minhyun. He's absolutely shocked. Seems on the verge of tears. 

They all freeze for a moment, but it's broken when Hyunbin runs at Minhyun and hugs him for a long, long time. When they let go, Minhyun seems to have calmed down. 

"Uh, hi," he says. 

"That's not gonna cut it," Seongwoo tells him. "You don't get to disappear for five years and then just say hi."

"To be fair, I didn't know you were going to be here," Minhyun explains, sounding somewhat normal. 

"Can we just keep watching the movie?" Donghan asks quietly, and Jaehwan takes this as his moment. 

"Yes, let's watch the movie. If anyone wants to fight Minhyun hyung they can do it while being entertained," he jumps in. He sits down next to Kenta on the floor and steals some of the older man's Hello Panda. When no one moves, he turns around to see Minhyun still standing awkwardly at the door. "Oh, for fuck's sake. Come on." Jaehwan gets up and drags Minhyun by the arm to where he was sitting with Kenta and then yanks him down. "Minhyun hyung, this is Kenta hyung. Make small talk or shit. Or just watch the movie." 

Jaehwan doesn't do that. He watches Minhyun instead. Watches Minhyun as he chats quietly to Kenta, seemingly more comfortable around someone he didn't use to know. Watches Minhyun as Seongwoo and Hyunbin come over and he talks to them about Jinyoung. Watches as he discovers that he and Taehyun have an acquaintance in common. 

It takes a long time before they let go of each other's hands. 

When they leave, Minhyun gives him a long look in the hallway. 

"What?"

"Jaehwan, you know you're a shit liar." 

Well, fuck. "Are you mad?" 

Minhyun sighs. "Well… maybe a little."

"Sorry," Jaehwan says, hanging his head some. "I - I can have Seongwoo hyung drive me home, if you don't want to." 

"Jaehwan, I'm not that mad," Minhyun is quick to amend. "I still want to talk to you. I just…" He looks down. "Sometimes Aron hyung, or Minki, or Dongho will tell me that I shouldn't have cut everyone off like I did, or that I need to have friends who aren't them. And maybe it took you forcing this together to make me realize that they were right. Don't tell them that, though, if you ever run into them," Minhyun warns. 

"Hyung, I don't know them," Jaehwan shakes his head. 

"A little warning would have been nice, is all," Minhyun finishes. 

"If I had warned you, you wouldn't have come," Jaehwan points out. 

"Okay, that's true, but still."

He gets a text from an unknown number later that night. 

xxx-xxx-xxxx: as much as i love you for making minhyun see sense, that was pretty shit of you 

Me: who the fuck is this

xxx-xxx-xxxx: his friend dongho.  
xxx-xxx-xxxx: don't fuck this up. 

Me: noted.  
Me: also how did you get my number

xxx-xxx-xxxx: stole it from his phone

"So, what are you guys exactly?" asks Hyunbin one day, in Longguo's bedroom. Hyunbin and Jaehwan are on the floor, and Longguo is sitting on his bed, Shihyun's head in his lap. Hyunbin and Jaehwan are whispering so they don't wake up Shihyun - Longguo doesn't care, he's too absorbed in either worrying about or admiring his boyfriend to get mad at Hyunbin and Jaehwan for excluding him from the conversation. 

"Me and Minhyun hyung?" Jaehwan clarifies. 

"Who else would I be talking about?" Hyunbin rolls his eyes. 

"We're friends. I don't see why we'd be anything else." 

"Well, it's been five years," reasons Hyunbin. "I'd assume he'd start dating again… and every time we see you guys you both look at each other like he'd hung the moon. And you held hands pretty much the entire time first time." 

"He's just started making friends and shit again," Jaehwan argues to Hyunbin. "Don't see why he would have dated at all in that time." 

"He likes you," Hyunbin says. "Totally does." 

"Hyunbin, no." 

"Seriously. Pay attention sometime, it's cute as hell. Reminds me of when he was first figuring out he liked hyung as more than a friend." 

Jaehwan is about to ask which of Hyunbin's hyungs, but - right. Jonghyun. 

"What was he like?" Jaehwan asks. 

"Minhyun hyung?"

"No, Jonghyun." 

"He… well," starts Hyunbin. "He was too self-sacrificing for his own good. And he loved kids, Jonghyun hyung was great with kids, he wanted like five. And he was a stupidly good dancer," Hyunbin adds, "I know I'm saying this as someone who can't dance for shit, but he was a damn good dancer. I met him because I was failing one of my science classes - I don't even remember which one," he laughs. "But he was tutoring me in it. As I remember it, this was right before they started dating. Oh, and the funny thing - well, this isn't ha-ha funny, but Jonghyun hyung had really shit anxiety. Minhyun hyung was the only thing that could calm him down sometimes. Funny how Minhyun hyung's the same way now." 

"Being a parent changes people," Jaehwan murmurs, distracted.

"Oh, yeah! Speaking of which!" Hyunbin exclaims, loudly, prompting a slap from Longguo. "Speaking of which," he repeats, quieter, "you know Youngmin hyung and Donghyun have their kids right?"

"What about Youngmin hyung's kids?"

"Well, they're like… Woojin is in first grade," Hyunbin elaborates, "and Daehwi'll start kindergarten next year. So they're like Jinyoung's age. And Youngmin hyung is pissed about missing Minhyun hyung. So they should have like a playdate and shit." 

"Why are you telling me this," Jaehwan states. 

"I don't know, I - because at this point you talk to him more than me."

"Don't you have his number? His current one?" 

"I mean, I do, but…"

"And didn't you tell me last time that you'd started texting kind of regularly?"

"I - yes, but…"

"Hyunbin, please don't play matchmaker for your hyungs. Matchmake for Donghan all you like, but not for your hyungs," Jaehwan admonishes. 

"I do really wanna see Jinyoung, though," says Hyunbin. "I saw him all of once. At Jonghyun hyung's, fucking. Dead person something, I don't know if it was the funeral or the wake or what. I… they were so excited they were getting kids, hyung, I don't even know how to describe it to you now. We all were. They were the first in our group to be having babies, and then… I don't know, Jaehwan hyung, I just wanna meet the kid." 

Something about this makes Jaehwan feel sad. Really, really sad. But then Hyunbin says something loudly again and Longguo finally gets the guts to kick them both out. 

Me: so i was talking to hyunbin today

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Oh?

Me: he thinks jinyoung shld have a playdate w youngmin hyung's kids

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Youngmin has kids?

Me: oh that's right  
Me: that's why he wasn't at movie night  
Me: they're a year older and younger than jinyoung they're cute  
Me: also he wants to meet jinyoung

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: If Hyunbin wants something, he can text me, not make you do it. 

Me: wow harsh  
Me: they all do wanna meet him tho apparently you talked abt him a lot  
Me: like before

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Well, I was excited. We were excited. 

Me: i want to see him again too  
Me: he's a damn cute kid  
Me: come on hyung you know none of them will let me live until you've done this

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Oh, because I care so greatly about your well-being…

Me: hwang minhyun hyung was that a joke  
Me: an actually funny joke

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: Why are you surprised?  
Hwang Minhyun the mystery: I contain multitudes.

Me: are you like an onion, hyung?

Hwang Minhyun the mystery: That's… a ridiculous reference, but yes, I have layers.

Me: oh my actual god

Hyunbin, it turns out, does pester Minhyun about this himself, and so the whole gang goes to Donghan and Youngmin's house one Saturday about two months after Minhyun and Jaehwan first met. Minhyun drives Jaehwan.

"Jinyoung-ah, do you remember Jaehwan?" asks Minhyun when Jaehwan gets in the car. "From your first day of school?"

Jinyoung blinks owlishly. "No?"

"Okay, well, this is Jaehwan. We're giving him a ride… again?"

"Hi," waves Jaehwan, giving Jinyoung a smile.

Jaehwan convinces Minhyun to turn on the radio after that, and he sings along loudly. He catches Minhyun humming along to a girl group song, even, and Jaehwan sings even louder after that. Jinyoung stays quiet. 

"He okay?" Jaehwan asks Minhyun quietly during a commercial break. 

"He's fine," Minhyun reassures him. "He's just shy around people he doesn't know. Oh, he's going to hate me for this…"

"He'll be fine," Jaehwan says. "He's going to just play with Daehwi and Woojin the entire time."

Minhyun doesn't seem too sure of the second part, and to be honest Jaehwan knows that their friends are going to be all over the poor kid, but he keeps going. 

"Hyung, seriously. It'll be fine." 

Jaehwan gets out of the car first and goes in. He's been to Youngmin and Donghyun's house all of once, so he hovers outside the door for a moment before knocking. "Minhyun hyung's right behind me," he tells Youngmin when he opens it. "Oh, are these - hi, hi!" Jaehwan exclaims when a small body runs up to him and attaches himself to his leg. Daehwi. Woojin, Jaehwan knows, is kind of shy, and with as many people as are here… 

Jaehwan pushes past Youngmin and counts. Himself, Youngmin, Daehwi, Donghyun, Hyunbin, Seongwoo, Daniel, Taehyun, Sanggyun, and three people Jaehwan doesn't know. Looks like he and Minhyun arrived last - Minhyun will have a fit, Jaehwan laughs to himself, what with his whole emphasis on being early. 

The door creaks open behind him, and Jaehwan freezes. So does Youngmin and, funnily enough, so does Daehwi. Minhyun's hand's on Jinyoung's back as the two walk in, and when seeing how quiet everyone got, Minhyun mutters a quiet, "now the party don't start til I walk in…" 

Needless to say, everyone chills out when Jaehwan walks into Youngmin's kitchen counter because he's laughing so hard. 

"What?" asks Minhyun, bewildered, and staring at Jaehwan. Youngmin pulls Minhyun into a hug. 

"Never change, Minhyun, never change."

"O...kay?" 

"My kitchen is too small for everyone to be in there," yells Donghyun from the other room. Jaehwan takes the hint and clears out, heading for where everyone else is in the living room. Youngmin follows with Minhyun and Jinyoung at a slower pace. 

One of the men Jaehwan doesn't know goes up to Minhyun and ruffles his hair - what? - before scooping Jinyoung into a hug. "Dongho samchon!" the kid grins, relaxing into the man as he picks him up. 

"Sup, kiddo?" asks Dongho - oh, god, this is the Dongho that texted him. Jaehwan winces back a little bit. He looks scary. 

Minhyun seems content to leave Jinyoung with Dongho, and so goes back to Jaehwan, who still has Daehwi next to him. 

"This would be Daehwi," Jaehwan introduces. He leaves them to it and lets Donghyun drag him over to meet a guy named Sungwoon. 

What ends up happening is that Youngmin drags Woojin out of his bedroom and leaves the kids in the living room, with Dongho and Hyunbin as supervision; the remaining adults squish into Donghyun's precious kitchen. Sungwoon, in Jaehwan's opinion, is pretty full of himself, and Jaehwan takes the chance to exit the conversation when Taehyun goes somewhere else and there's a clear path to the door. 

Minhyun's outside, leaning against the wall, smiling a little as he listens to what the kids are doing in the living room. "Hey," murmurs Jaehwan, and then Minhyun turns and looks at him and Jaehwan loses his train of thought because - holy shit, he thinks he wants to kiss Minhyun. 

Minhyun, who's beautiful, and thinks ahead for every possibility. Minhyun, who'll do anything for his kid, who's so gamely going along with Jaehwan pushing him out of the shell he'd lived in for five years - Minhyun, who's allergic to saline and loves foreign food and makes the weirdest jokes and has a beautiful singing voice - Minhyun, who's selfless - Minhyun, who's beautiful when he's worried, and when he cries, and when he's shocked, and happy, and making a joke - Minhyun, who's beautiful right now, listening intently to the kids with that little smile of his, his head tilting in that way it does, eyes flicking over to meet Jaehwan's own. Minhyun, who's beautiful. 

Jaehwan forces himself to breathe. "You alright?" Minhyun asks, and Jaehwan nods. 

"Sungwoon hyung is… not my favorite person." 

"He grows on you," Minhyun reassures him, shaking his head. 

"They, uh… how are the kids?" Jaehwan asks, forcing himself to focus on the conversation even though if he and Minhyun both turned right now Jaehwan could lean forward just a little and - 

The smile spreads itself wider across Minhyun's face. "He's shy… Daehwi, I think, is the type of person that once he's decided he's going to be friends with you, he doesn't let up. Jinyoungie's friend Jiwon is like that too, she just walked up to him and made herself his friend. It's good, this is good, he wants friends so badly but I don't think he knows where to start…" 

Jaehwan scrunches his face up like he's trying not to cry, because some sort of emotion has settled in his stomach and it isn't leaving, and, oh, fuck this, fuck it - 

"Jaehwan? Are you - ?" 

Jaehwan kisses him. It lasts maybe two seconds, but to Jaehwan it feels like years and like nothing at all all at the same time. He doesn't want to pull away, but he's the one who does. 

"Hyung, I'm sorry," Jaehwan says, staring. His voice shakes a little bit. "Do you not - "

Do you not like me that way?

Do you not want to be friends now?

Do you not want to move on? 

"Don't apologize."

Minhyun looks at Jaehwan for a long time. It's probably only a few seconds, but to Jaehwan it feels like hours, because there's so much judgement and thought in that gaze. 

And just when Jaehwan's ready to turn around and hide in the kitchen and beg Seongwoo to drive him home, Minhyun reaches over and takes his hand, and they walk into the living room, together.

**Author's Note:**

> many thanks to kira aka my best girl aka basically my beta she reads all my shit and tells me i'm doing everything wrong i love her (she doesn't really do that she just laughs at my shitty jokes)
> 
> ta da this is now a series!


End file.
